The princess married the frog she met chatting online
She thought she was drunk on love and not her servent's moonshine
When he met the parents he embarrassed and had no clue
When he asked "Mr. Arthur what is it that you do?"

Former athlete, white senator playing the race card
Says he can't remember a time when his people had it so hard
In an unrelated rant on a Senate committee floor
Trying to pass a law regulating screw sizes on doors

They're building an amusement park right inside Fort Knox
Commissioned by every tabloid owned by Rupert Murdoch
They tried to keep tabs on the peasants who they knew who shifty
So they gave them all a souvenir shirt at the cost of nine fifty

Sir Walter Elliot lives as king among men
Living in the babbling words written by Jane Austen
Anne fell in love with a sailor whom Walter Elliot quartered
At least I think that's what happened, I had to put the book down to establish order

A novelist college grad trying to resurrect John Lennon
Accidentally did Vladimir who rose from his display case bedding
He started a communist revolution in a town in the old west
It was outcome he had wanted the whole time buried in his subconscious

A five year old girl shot a gangsta thug to death
She thought she was on cold medicine but it was crystal meth
At least that's what she told the cops when they looked at her ID
That said her name was Roger Evans was the age of sixty-three

An oceanless hurricane hit Area 51
Blowing debris in everyone's yards, alien's guts and their laser guns
Though the pressure was on the general to the public he stood pat
When he announced on the podium to blame the Democrats

Victorian, gothic wench number 56387
Listens to tales of misery as if tales of heaven
It was at her secret headquarters in the local shopping mall
Where she realized she was a higher species, pride come before us all